


Nomen Omen

by Ram92



Category: The Umbrella Academy (TV)
Genre: Diego is Diego, Gen, Names, No Incest, Pre-Season/Series 01, Sibling Bonding, The Boy With No Name, Vanya is such a good name, i don't know where i'm going with this
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-03-09
Updated: 2021-03-12
Packaged: 2021-03-16 03:07:28
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,625
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29943558
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ram92/pseuds/Ram92
Summary: Who was the first to have a name from Mom? Where did all the other names come from? And what kind of name is Luther, anyway?Five has some resistance in being part of the club. Numbers are by far more practical.However...
Relationships: Number Five & The Hargreeves Family, Number Five | The Boy & Vanya Hargreeves
Comments: 8
Kudos: 25





	1. #7

<< Why not? >>

Five rolled his eyes and sank a little deeper into his world of calculations.

<< We all have one, now. >> Seven, or whatever she had begun to call herself now, kept going. << I’m sure Mom could help you find a good one, if you can’t think of anything you like. >>

<< I told you, I don’t have time for this. >>

<< Come on, don’t be dramatic, it’s not gonna take longer than... >>

<< This is already taking more time than what I intended. >>

He turned another page, forcefully ignoring the glare his sister was no doubt firing at him.

<< Don’t you even want to know mine? >> she asked after a pause.

Five sighed and dropped his book. Apparently, quantum physics had to wait.

<< What is it? >> he said, turning his chair in surrender.

His sister’s face lit up.

<< It’s Vanya. >> she said with some sort of clumsy pride. << Like in Chekhov, you know. >>

An awkward silence, Five’s brows furrowed.

<< I thought it was a male name. >>

<< Well, yes, but you know, I liked it that way. >> Seven – no, Vanya – said, shifting her weight from one foot to the other. << Mom said it was alright. Better than Number Seven, anyway. >>

<< Nice choice. >> he considered, taking in the new piece of information.

Uncle Vanya, an old man whose unrequited love brings him to consider how useless his life has been. As an unemotional early teenager genius he could appreciate the cold humour behind it.

<< It actually suits you. >>

<< You think? >> asked Vanya in a cheerful voice.

But Five had already turned back to his desk once again.

<< I’m sure you could find a good one as well. >> she said, trying to be supportive.

It was nice, for once, to do something all together.

<< As I already told you, I don’t care. >>

<< You know, at the beginning when it was just Diego I also thought it was stupid, >> she said, knowing she was pushing her luck, there. << but now that I’ve got one, I have to say that... >>

<< Listen, Vanya, I am really glad you’ve found a name that makes you happy, but I really don’t have time for this, now. >> he sort of snapped, trying to keep his voice from shouting at her. << I need to study, I need to concentrate. And... who the hell is Diego? >>

<< It’s Two. >> she said quickly. << He thought it was cool. >> she added awkwardly.

<< Of course he did. >> Five mumbled sarcastically.

<< Come on, don’t be mean. >> she tried to soothe him. << We all are in this together, for once. All of us. Why can’t you just get along? >>

<< Dad will never bother learning them anyway. >>

<< So what? I thought you didn’t care what he thinks. >>

<< I don’t, but I see why he wouldn’t. >> Five snapped a little harder this time. << Look, Vanya, we don’t have time for this, names are just meant for ordinary people. They’re not functional, they’re just one more factor to consider, one more useless nuisance to commend to memory while you’re trying to focus on something more important. >>

<< I’m sorry I am not as extraordinary as you are. >>

Five gritted his teeth. That was what happened every time he didn’t think it through.

<< That’s not what I meant. >>

<< No, that’s okay. We all know that’s true. >> Vanya said in her usual small voice. << We just thought... I mean, both me and the others, we all thought we could do this together, but I know how much you care about this time-jumping thing. I just thought we should let you know. >>

Five listened to his sister’s steps, as his finger drummed over the page he was on.

<< Vanya. >> he called her before she was too far.

Her face reappeared from behind the door.

<< I promise I’ll think about it, okay? >> he said, looking away. << Just, after I finish with this. >> he added nodding at the book.

<< You mean when you finish reading it? >>

<< I mean when I can jump through time. >> he said in a voice that admitted no reply. << I’m sure it won’t take me that long. >>

The doubting look on his sister’s face made something click deep down in his guts, and he got ready to get defensive. He didn’t need another lecture about how impossible it was that their father was wrong.

<< Would you like me to write down some suggestions? >> she asked, instead.

Five’s neck relaxed in his collar.

<< Whatever. >> he shrugged defiantly. << As long as you do it out of my room. >>

Vanya smiled cheekily and disappeared once again.

Vanya.

Diego.

He wondered for a split second what ridiculous name Four had come up with. Or One.

But he didn’t have time for this. From the top of the page, Aleks Woszkzina’s printed name looked up at him in what looked like a suggestion.

He moved to the next page. He had work to do.


	2. The Kraken

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I swear this all genuinely started as a stand-alone oneshot. It's just I had some more in my mind, so I decided I could turn it into a three-chapter little story.   
> Please forgive me.   
> This is how it goes...

It turned out that the only name Mom had really helped with was Luther.

Allison had found hers leafing through some books and magazines, had been a bit uncertain if she liked Allison or Claire best, then had chosen for the first “because it started with an A” and that apparently was a factor.

Ben had opted for a classic, something as unremarkable and anonymous as he could. Klaus, on the opposite, had gone for the weirdest option on the menu.

They kept talking about it the whole breakfast, while Five was trying to spread butter on his toast and wishing for something a little stronger than milk to start the day with.

Father had left for a few days for some of his important engagements, and he found himself missing him and his silence rule in the morning. On the background of the endless chattering, the record kept spinning unnoticed.

It was up to the most enthusiastic of the bunch, now, and ‘Diego’ couldn’t stop blabbing about his comics-like name and gloating.

Five was the most surprised of all when he heard his own voice breaking the moderate chaos around him.

<< Wasn’t ‘the Kraken’ enough to satisfy your need to overcome your number-two-syndrome? >>

It had slipped from his mouth. He couldn’t help being sarcastic about it.

Number Two glared at him trying to look though, but bearing the face of someone who had been hit right into the stomach in the middle of a jump of joy. Five kinda felt sorry for him.

<< I’m s-sorry, Number _Five_ , just remind me why you have no nickname? >>

Oh, he was trying to be sassy again.

<< I don’t know. >> Five smirked back, casually putting away the knife with the remaining butter in a place where he could have a firm hold on it. << Maybe because I didn’t read obsessively every single comment on the girls’ magazines looking for one? >>

Allison suppressed a giggle. One point to Five.

<< N-no, that’s because nobody even notices you. >>

<< I suppose that’s a better strategy than running around breaking windows and blowing everybody’s cover before we could even enter the building, don’t you agree? >>

Five couldn’t help noticing the tip of Two’s ears turning to crimson.

<< That was just one time! >> he shouted mainly toward the others.

<< Well, actually... two times. >> Luther corrected him. << There was also that time at that Pride museum in Madrid. >>

<< You mean El Prado? >> Ben pointed out.

<< Then there was that time in Paris, remember? >> said Allison, who loved to remind everybody about the few times in which her power had actually helped. << If Number Two had held his horses France would still have the original Eiffel Tower. >>

<< And we would have found out more about Gustave Eiffel’s people. >> mumbled Luther, still thinking that Dad would have sent him in exploration.

<< Y-y-you d-destroyed the spacesh-ship, y-y-you idiot. >> Diego somehow managed to spit out. << Y-y-you couldn’t have g-gone anywhere anyw-way. >>

Five released his grip on the knife, admiring the chaos he was about to leave behind. They didn’t even notice when he got out.

Only to find Vanya on the top of the stairs. How had she been away?

<< I have made a list. >> she announced handing out a scribbled piece of paper.

Five sighed as he kept walking past her.

<< I already told you I have no time for this now. >>

<< Oh, come on! Dad will be away for about a week, and he said that you are not ready anyway. >>

Five distinctly felt his jaw grow tenser, but he chose to say nothing and keep walking instead.

<< He’s not gonna teach you whatever big book you read, you know that. >>

<< I don’t need the old man to teach me. >> he snapped, far more loudly than he had meant to.

Vanya looked at him a little hurt.

<< As far as I know, he never travelled in time. >> he said regaining control with some effort. << This is my power to handle, and if he doesn’t help, that just means that I need to work harder on my own. >>

He made it onto the next floor and kept pacing towards his room.

<< But.. >> he heard Vanya say, as she followed him on the floor.

<< With no distractions. >> he said, slamming the door behind him.

Vanya looked at the door for a while, then lowered her gaze on the little list still in her hands, a dozen names scribbled on the back of a music sheet.

Five waited until he heard her light steps down the stairs, before he moved away from the door.

Now he would be sure he could work with no further distractions for about... ah, with that kind of family you really couldn’t control all the unpredictable factors. He’d better start as soon as he could.

<< Mr. Woszkzina. >> he greeted his only ally in that madness.

The manual looked back with solidarity.

<< Let’s get back to work. >> he muttered to himself.


End file.
